Securing the best outcome in a divorce often means planning ahead and creating a strategy. It can be difficult to develop a realistic strategy when you have unrealistic expectations.
One of the best things you can do for yourself when considering divorce is to teach yourself about the most common misconceptions people have so that you don’t fall victim to them. The following five popular misconceptions might lead people to waste time, energy and money unnecessarily during their divorce.
- You have to prove your ex is responsible
Divorce used to be a fault-based process in many states. To this day some people mistakenly think they have to have grounds to file for a divorce. New Hampshire allows for no-fault divorces, which means you don’t have to prove anything even if you have a reason to file that would constitute grounds, like infidelity by your spouse, unless you want to pursue a fault-based divorce.
- One spouse wins and one spouse loses in property division
It is surprisingly common for people to think that the courts have a winner-take-all approach to dividing assets during a divorce. Other people might think that the judge must split everything fifty-fifty between the spouses. The reality is much more nuanced, with judges applying the equitable distribution standard to make things fair.
- You either get the house or completely lose out
Your marital home is probably worth a lot of money, so it makes sense that both you and your spouse have an interest in keeping it. Regardless of who gets to stay in the house and live there, both spouses can expect to receive a reasonable share of the property’s value.
- The courts intentionally cut good parents out of kids’ lives
Most everyone has heard some sad story about a parent who lost custody to their terrible spouse in a divorce. In New Hampshire, the courts try to set parenting (formerly “custody”) terms that are in the best interest of the children. Usually, that means sharing parenting between parents. Sole parenting is an option sometimes if one parent doesn’t ask for parenting or if there is evidence of neglect, abuse or other factors that might endanger the children.
- Litigation is inevitable when you divorce
Although it is normal for people to become angry and even vindictive during divorce, you and your spouse don’t have to fight. You have the option of filing an uncontested divorce. Marital agreements or mediation can make it easier for you to set your own terms and divorce without fighting or great expense.
The more you learn about getting a divorce, the easier it will be for you to make the right decisions to protect yourself if you decide it is time to move on from an unhappy marriage.